Conscious

"Staying conscious is the work of keeping enough light on what we carry before it becomes what carries us..."

When things are good, it can be easier to feel the light within us. We feel capable. We can meet the world with some sense of steadiness because, for a moment, we feel at home in ourselves. But the darker parts of our inner life do not always stay quiet. Fear rises. Doubt gathers. The unknown begins to feel larger than what we can manage. And suddenly the light that felt so natural becomes harder to reach. “Conscious” reminds me of the fragile work of staying awake to what is happening inside us with enough awareness to notice when the shadows are beginning to take over. There is so much we carry that never sees the light of day. Unspoken fears. Unprocessed pain. Old experiences we pushed aside so we could keep moving. But what remains unseen does not always remain harmless. Sometimes it returns as anxiety or nightmares. Sometimes as a feeling we cannot explain but cannot escape. Awareness may not erase the darkness, but it changes our relationship to it. It gives us a way to turn toward what is moving beneath the surface before it starts moving us from below...